Orange Roof on the Avenue: Viva Las Vegas!

David and I spent 4 long (looooong) days last week in Las Vegas for a conference for CB Richard Ellis, his company. There was a large group of David's co-workers and their spouses/significant others going, which ensured it would be a fun time. Even though I was a Vegas Virgin, I felt like I had a pretty accurate mental picture of what all Sin City encompassed. Vicariously, I had been there 100 times before, since I've suffered through countless anecdotes from friends and family over the years, have seen Vegas Vacation at least 2 dozen times, the Hangover half as many times, and the Vegas Commercials make it pretty clear that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" (I don't think anyone I know who has gone to Vegas has seen these commercials because they are more than happy to share their sketchy Vegas tales with me upon their arrivals home).

So, to adhere to the renowned Vegas slogan, I won't give you a play-by-play of my holiday. I'll give you a quick run down of the high points and the bottom line. And, as a spoiler, I will give you the bottom line first.

If it is possible to be both completely over- and under-whelmed simultaneously, then I achieved it. I now understand people's fascination with Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach is Las Vegas' poor, unfortunate cousin.

Here were two of my assumptions before I went to Vegas.

1) Vegas is clean. While there are janitors everywhere you turn, sweeping up trash on the sidewalks and picking up empty drink glasses, if you look closely enough, Vegas is dirty. You can smoke inside. It seems like no where is off-limits for you and your nicotine habit. Inside casinos, hotel rooms, restaurants, clubs, stores, in a bathroom stall, on the sidewalk, on the bus, in a taxi. Wherever you want.

Go ahead, light one up, big boy. No one else seems to mind that they are choking on your second-hand smoke.

Also, the carpet in the casinos is filthy. They are patterned with ugly colors to hide the stains and foulness, but my trained eye picked up on it right away. No fooling this girl. I am guessing they don't have Stanley Steamer in Nevada. If I dropped anything on the floor, short of my phone or a $100 bill, I may have just left it there.

2) How can anyone find gambling to be addictive? This mindset was tossed out the window the first morning at 7 am, when in our jet-lagged awakeness, David and I went to an early breakfast. We witnessed scores of post-menopausal women in the casinos, sitting at the penny slots with cigarettes dangling from their teeth, eyes glazed over, and their wrinkly hands jabbing at the buttons on the machine like they had been sitting there all night (which they probably had). Squandering away their life-savings on an apparatus that twinkles and chimes and dings like a child's toy and is set to only pay out every so often. Really??

However, I did play the penny slots one evening (solely in an attempt to catch the attention of cocktail waitresses to score free vodka drinks, which worked nicely and relieved my wallet of forking out $14 per cocktail for a short time), and I will admit that there is something oddly habit-forming about those slot machines. The eternal hope that the next round you will hit the big money starts to hijack your rational thought process. Thank goodness we had dinner reservations at Tao which I was really looking forward to, or David may have found me perched on the same stool the next morning with an empty wallet, a cigarette habit, and dozens of new lady friends.

To wrap it up, here are a few pictures from the week... I only took pictures of the pretty things I saw, but now I wish I had taken pictures of the ugly/awful things because that's always much more fun to look at, right? My apologies.

Our Suite at the Venetian- I give the Venetian two thumbs up!

Beautiful Mountain View from our room

Outside the Bellagio

Inside the Grand Canal Shoppes between the Venetian & Palazzo- INCREDIBLE!

Breakfast at Le Cafe Ile St. Louis in the Paris before the guys headed to a seminar and McKenzie and I went exploring (i.e., the blind leading the blind)

Dinner at Tao

Are you so sure about that?

The Playboy Club with all the CBRE ladies

A real-live Bunny (Don't worry, I wasn't very impressed either.)

Private Bare Naked Ladies concert for Conference Attendees- This is going to sound super dorky, but they put on a fabulous show! I'd pay to see them again!

BNL Lead Singer, Ed Robertson.

Taxi Driver told me this was the Wedding Chapel from the Hangover. Wanted to go inside and witness some short-lived nuptials for myself, but not enough time...

Gold & Silver Pawn Shop from Pawn Stars.

This was on our list of "must-see" places in Vegas since we watch the show religiously. HUGE let-down. Chumlee was nowhere to be found and they didn't even have anything neat to look at inside. A bunch of junk.

Historic Fremont Street.

All of the original casinos are on Fremont Street. On our last day, we couldn't bear another moment on the new Strip, so we headed over to the real strip.

Heart Attack Grill. Over 350 lbs. Eats Free. I wish this was a bad joke. They advertise that their milkshakes are made with an entire stick of butter. Gag.